sick of people running to nef or legendary

WTf is wrong with u people, do you have that big of egos where you must run to the 2 guilds that own territorys.....I couldve been in Nef or Legendary many times but i always tell them srry but my faction/family comes first. Guess thats not true for all of you, some of you need recognition that you will never get.......for instance you own land but i never heard of you! Oh well guess the people that ran to nef and Leg are better off cuz that got what they needed....But if thats true why do the 2 biggest guilds keep calling me for a tank?!?!?!?! your not as powerful as you seem i got respect for you cuz you know what it takes to own territorys.....at least your leader/officals do but honestly you have no clue your just as noob as the rest of us so keep on following the 2 best guilds in the game....and when u get kicked dont come crying back.

ooooch

erm well -__-' its a rant section right? so don't blame me for what i say then. im going to be truthful to u all here.
i left cos i felt useless, lonely and all those just keep building up and it makes me want to die everyday i go in.
i feel like a hypocrite having a fake smile or fake happy mood everytime i go on and talk in the faction chat.

R3 was my first faction in PWI, and i do love it. faction, u guys, were my priority u know. i always try my best to help.
maybe i tink too much or idk, i just kept feeling useless ever since i started school and u all came close to my lvl and wasn't as free to be on and also the fking time diff we have. but i always try to make it such that i can be on when u all are on. i always try, thats why i always end up falling aslp in front of my com. to play with u all, to even just be able to talk with u all, i stayed up to like 2 3 4 am on my school days. i putted in efforts to try. but yet, in the end i feel nothing but loneliness.

it wasn;t so bad last time when we all typed and talked in faction, communication was way easier. ever since voice chat came out, not that i mind, but it just sometimes makes it hard to communicate. those that uses it say it was more convenient so i understand but its hard when u dun even read the faction chat. i have no idea how to talk to u all when that happens. what am i to do ? i type in GSC but ur in game and can't see. i type in faction hoping u will reply, sometimes u dun even look at it. or sometimes it came slow (that i dun mind, at least i got some reply back), but serious its like major communication over there for me. so i try, pm, chat windows etc but im scared if i spam that, it would disturb u and i wouldn't like tat.

i used to be quiet sometimes and not talk bcos i was feeling and muling over my uselessness whenever i hear u all talking on voice chat when ur in fb or trying the fb or whatever. i know im a wiz, i steal aggro, im squishy , im useless and everything bad in those stuffs u do when u explore a cave of what. but the least u could do, was say something ? everytime i go GSC, i hear that, i feel uselessness coming all over me again. and whats worse, i was actually of close to that lvl around that time. which just makes me go emo mood at times. (maybe im too emotional -__-')

sometimes i dun feel like im part of the 'family' u all are talking about. u all got better time zones than me, and since know each other, u stick together. no matter how it is, im an outsider. i know that, and i kept that in mind. but i trusted and believe that we were family, but i just don't feel that anyway. everytime i go on, i feel lonely. i feel like shit. i feel emo. i feel sad. it may not sound that way to u becos im used to covering such things up. there weres times when i was feeling so sad about this my mood is detectable that im sad if u actually talk to me. my hubby knows.

i pondered over my decision to leave very very long. its been a dull sting in my heart whenever i think about it. i din't want to leave. i struggled over that freaking long. to prevent myself of tat, and to be more useful, i created my veno. but even so, i stiu wasn't able to help. i tried lvling her fast enough but still, i couldn't. heck, i feel useless even in my veno when its supposingly to be more helpful than my wiz. the day when i left, i cried. i seriously cried. idk why, but i just did. i cried for an hour, i cried while replying to the pms i had. i was sad. i almost thought of quitting at times too, but i tried and tried to make things better, make myself feel better maybe.

my hubby says im trying to hard to be nice, maybe it is, thats why im feeling crap. idk anymore.
u might be thinking, why i nvr say anything about it. but seriously, think about it. how am i to open my mouth and blurt all those stuffs out ? if u know me, u know i wont. unless i seriously need to share with someone that or otherwise the result would be that i mite have a mental breakdown. i tink im gonna have one soon -_-'